March 13, 2026

Ep3: with Allie Hoffman | Rewriting the Rules of Modern Dating & Connection

Ep3: with Allie Hoffman | Rewriting the Rules of Modern Dating & Connection

Send a text Wilma and Allie met on a New York rooftop at the start of the pandemic — connected by a mutual friend, brought together by something harder to name. Years later, sitting in a house in the South of France, they pick up a thread that was always going to lead here: what does it actually take to let yourself be known by another person? Allie Hoffman is the founder of The Feels, a facilitated dating experience now running in six US cities. Her path to it winds through Shabbat dinners i...

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Send a text

Wilma and Allie met on a New York rooftop at the start of the pandemic — connected by a mutual friend, brought together by something harder to name. Years later, sitting in a house in the South of France, they pick up a thread that was always going to lead here: what does it actually take to let yourself be known by another person?

Allie Hoffman is the founder of The Feels, a facilitated dating experience now running in six US cities. Her path to it winds through Shabbat dinners in Soho warehouses and bedrooms, a Master's thesis at Columbia, a summer when all her friendships blew up at once, and a reckoning with the gap between the career she was performing and the life she actually wanted. This conversation goes deep into how she built something from that wreckage — and why the discomfort she puts at the centre of her events is, in her view, the whole point.

Wilma brings her own story too: depression, hospitalisation, and the moment she stopped hiding it. Together they cover projection, the three-layers framework, the generational arc of healing in America, the danger of certainty in spiritual leadership, and what it means to stop needing to be fixed and start being of service.

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